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The Houston Astros gave fans quite the nice surprise on Tuesday evening when it was announced that Jose Altuve had agreed to a five-year, $125 million extension. For the Astros, obviously the best part of the deal is that Altuve is now set to end his career with the team he has spent his entire 13-year big-league tenure with.

However, it sure doesn’t hurt that the news of Altuve’s extension was met with fans of the Astros’ biggest rivals losing their minds on social media, especially on Twitter/X/whatever it is called today. Many of the responses were boilerplate sports fan nonsense, but there were some that deserve to be on the highlight reel.

We’ll start with the Yankees fans because, in their minds, the baseball universe revolves around them despite the fact that their last World Series title would be in high school right now.

Predictably, there were a lot of these sorts of takes in the Astros’ mentions last night. We can certainly respect the optimism and bravery here coming from a New York fan. However, the Yankees have not won a single playoff series against the Astros in their franchise history, including getting bounced from the playoffs by Houston three times in the last seven years. Perhaps the word “own” means something different in Yankees-land than in the rest of the known world. Don’t worry, New York fans, there is always next year and we’re sure that Brian Cashman can finally deliver (checks notes) something at some point.

This post from the same user is a doozy. The use of the clown emoji is strong here, but is more of a self-own than anything else. Friendly reminder that the Yankees still owe Stantion $98 million over the next four years despite the fact that he has Byron Buxton-levels of durability. At least he will hit some dingers.

We finally come to a reaction that at least raises an interesting point. Paying Altuve $125 million for five years when he is already 33 years old doesn’t come without some risk to be sure, especially given that he battled injuries last season. However, those injuries appear to have been fluke things instead of a sign that his body is starting to break down, and Altuve has a strong track record of staying on the field overall. Enjoy your moment in the sun, Rangers fans, but talk to us when your team can be more than one-year wonders.